


deep beneath the pacific

by CallicoKitten



Series: the harder they fall [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, Loki is OOC, Saving the World, but jaegars and punching kaijus, idk - Freeform, literally nothing happens in this fic, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 08:04:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallicoKitten/pseuds/CallicoKitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I remember,” he says later, slung across his bunk, “being very small. It was snowing outside and Dad had shouted at me for something so you took me outside to cheer me up, we built a snowman. It was so big we had to get Heimdel to put the head on it and you let me stand on your shoulders to put the carrot on.”</p><p>Thor shifts, smiling at the memory.</p><p>“Trouble is I’m not sure if it’s my memory or yours.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	deep beneath the pacific

Loki doesn’t particularly want to join the Jaeger programme – he’s never been one for athletic feats of glory, that’s more Thor’s thing; besides, London and Britain as a whole has thus far remained mercifully out of the Kaiju’s path.

Thor, of course, signs up immediately, gets paired with Sif until their first Drift which goes spectacularly wrong. Loki’s in the research department – he figures it’s only polite to offer to help out in stopping the apocalypse, particularly as his father is one of the PPDC’s biggest financial backers. (Also he’s super smart, just saying.)

He gets a call at 3am and he’s awake but that doesn’t stop him from snapping at his brother (because Thor is literally _one building_ over from him and he could have at least turned up at Loki’s lab with coffee and pizza to fuel their midnight rambles.) They’re stationed at the Sydney Shatterdome which, as far as Loki is convinced, is pretty much hell and by that he means it’s _hot_ (like _Mordor-hot_.)

“I’m going to have to leave the programme,” Thor says in this deeply serious voice (the one that Loki associates with his brother welling up with manly, _manly_ tears.) “I can’t find anyone else who might be compatible with me.”

Loki makes a sympathetic noise and this is usually the point where he says something along the lines of _it’s not the end of the world_ but, well, _you know_. “I’m sure someone will turn up. I mean they’re getting new recruits everyday – right?” 

“Yes, but most recruits already _have_ a Drift partner.” 

Loki sighs, he has to finish this analysis of the Kaiju blue before tomorrow, he doesn’t really have time for this. He switches his phone onto speaker and goes back to his specimen. “What about Baldr?”

Thor seizes up at that, “He’s too young, Loki. I wouldn’t risk him.”

“Right, because letting him stay on and study in L.A. doesn’t put his life at risk _at all_ ,” he says it before he can stop himself and there’s a hissed intake of breath from Thor. “Sorry,” Loki mutters, rubbing his forehead. “It’s been a long day, Thor.” 

Thor swallows, “Yeah, its fine, Loki. Sorry, I shouldn’t have called so late.”

Great. Now Loki feels bad. “Look, how about we do breakfast tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.”

-

They had an unconventional childhood – by most people’s standards anyway. They moved around every few months with their dad’s business so Loki’s never really had anyone outside of Thor. Thor of course had other friends, the children of their father’s colleagues and acquaintances (Odin doesn’t really have _friends_ ) but they never really understood Loki and Loki never really understood them. 

For Loki there’s always only ever been Thor. 

(And later Baldr but there’s a big age gap and their mother decided to give him a more settled childhood so they only saw him when their Dad was in London with them.)

He supposes, in retrospect, what happens next is only the natural progression of things.

-

He wakes up to someone shaking him, a fellow researcher. It takes approximately 5.3 seconds for Loki to realise that something has happened and it isn’t good. 

He watches the footage on YouTube alone in his bunk, the Kaiju rips through L.A. after taking a Jaeger to pieces – destroys three shelters.

-

The funeral is quiet, small. 

Their mother sobs and their father stares straight ahead, vacantly.

Loki leans heavily against his brother afterwards as mourners and friends bustle around them and offer hollow condolences. “Don’t leave the programme,” the words tumble clumsily from his lips – half formed and desperate. “They’ll need you; you have the best potential of all the recruits; the best physical scores, intelligence scores -”

Loki’s rambling and then Thor’s hand is tight on his shoulder. “Loki, I can’t be a pilot if I don’t have a co-pilot. I still haven’t found anyone compatible.”

“Me,” Loki says (later he’ll regret this) “Try me.”

-

Their first Drift leaves Loki seizing, bloody nose, burst vessels (Thor’s _rage_ tearing through him like molten fucking lava, too much, too much, pulling him apart.) 

“Shit, shit,” Jane Foster is standing over him, checking his vitals and Thor is wide eyed, jaw slack. “Jesus Christ.”

(Thor’s rage is reassuring – he’s not the only one screaming internally, not the only one railing against the _unfairness_ , the _hopelessness_ of it all.) 

Thor kneels beside him, shaking, “This isn’t going to work – I should _never_ have asked you to do this, Loki. I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry, I’m – ” 

“Didn’t ask me,” Loki manages, “I asked you - idiot.” He sits up despite Foster’s protests. “Wanna try again, I can do it. I know I can.”

“No,” Thor says firmly just as Foster says, “You could _die_.” 

Loki stands sways a little and Thor’s hand shoots out to steady him automatically. “We’re all going to die sometime. I’d rather die here than be ripped apart by a Kaiju or cowering in a shelter.” 

Thor and Foster exchange a look (Loki got a flash during the Drift of flesh against flesh, hands winding through hair and soft lips – he files that under _traumatised for life_ and shakes himself) “L.A. just lost one of their best pilot teams,” Jane says quietly. “We need pilots now more than ever.”

It takes a while but Thor agrees and this time Loki’s ready.

The fury passes over him and he closes his eyes, focuses on controlling it, on calming it. 

It works.

Their memories meld and blend, weave around each other until there’s no space between them. They’re one, together, perfectly in sync.

-

Their first kill is a month later – a category 3 with blood red eyes and the strange ability to freeze things. It’s a two hour battle but they take it down eventually. It’s the longest they’ve ever been connected and when they step out of _War Hammer_ Loki’s mind feels empty, lonely. 

“I remember,” he says later, slung across his bunk, “being very small. It was snowing outside and Dad had shouted at me for something so you took me outside to cheer me up, we built a snowman. It was so big we had to get Heimdel to put the head on it and you let me stand on your shoulders to put the carrot on.”

Thor shifts, smiling at the memory.

“Trouble is I’m not sure if it’s my memory or yours.”

Thor crosses the room and brushes Loki’s hair back, “Does it matter?” Thor has been different with him since they drifted, more tactile and Loki’s not sure whether it’s a security thing or whether Thor can feel Loki’s aching loneliness on occasion. 

“No,” Loki murmers (he remembers it and it happened and that should be enough but...) “It should though. I feel like half the memories in my head are yours, even the ones that I remembered before we drifted. I can see them from a different point of view. It’s strange.”

Thor hums.

-

The Hong Kong Shatterdome is big and old and rusting and their numbers have dwindled.

The _Warrior’s Three_ goes down one month before their end game is set into motion and every time they drift now all Loki can feel is Thor’s hurt and rage and _Jane_. 

It’s odd but Jane keeps them grounded – keeps Thor from losing it.

They kill a category one Kaiju, their first, its tiny compared to the others – doesn’t have any particular power but they tear it limb from limb, smash it’s skull with the hammer extension Stark had built for their Jaeger.

It’s strange, Loki thinks, that when he watches the footage later on the news he doesn’t feel any sense of victory. Just cold, emptiness. He wonders what it feels like to die on a planet so far from your own. 

He wonders if the Kaiju knew what it was doing.

He wonders if it was lonely.

It’s harder to pick through his memories now, it’s harder to tell what’s his memory and what’s Thor’s.

He remembers things in flashes, doubles. He can see arguments from his brother’s side and from his. He can hear things that Thor says about him when he’s not around, he remembers things from before he was born.

-

They’re on the ocean bed, miles away from the surface and there’s a portal to another dimension – pulsing, burning, bright against the murkiness of the water.

(And all Loki can think about is how beautiful it is – he’s never seen it before and the scientist within in him is dumbstruck – it’s a _wormhole_ and it’s most awe-inspiring thing he’s ever seen.)

“This is it,” Thor roars beside him as the Kaiju’s rise up. Bruce’s triple event. 

They don’t last long. The Kaiju rips through their Conn-pad and it’s filling up water (there’s fear, so much fear but Thor’s there and they’re doing this _for Baldr_ \- Loki doesn’t panic.)

“We’re not going to make it,” Thor yells, or maybe Thor _thinks_ it. Loki’s not sure he can hear much over the roar of the water and the pounding of his heart. He’s gasping and they’re still gripping a Kaiju, holding it back so the _Howlin’ Commando_ can deliver its payload.

His vision is going dark and he can feel Thor’s stuttering heartbeat.

If they don’t let go they’re dead.

If they do let go they might _all_ be dead.  
He knows Thor knows it too.

They hold on.

It’s an unspoken agreement.

-

(He thinks about Jane, watching their life signals bleep out of existence, pictures her mouth in a tight line, her eyes spilling over with tears – he remembers the engagement ring his brother had shown him before they agreed to go on this mission – Thor deserves a chance to give her that ring.)

There are alarms blaring, Thor is limp beside him – somewhere in the dark waters - and Loki can’t fucking breath but he reaches for panel beside him and -

-

Loki wakes up in an escape pod, Thor’s worried face bent over him. 

It’s an odd feeling, waking up. He hadn’t intended it. Hadn’t intended on surviving the end of the world. He sits up and Thor’s hand grips his shoulder, trembling slightly. “I don’t understand,” Thor mumbles. “I thought that was it. We were going down. I don’t...”

Loki gasps out a wet chuckle, “Oh, Thor. Are you actually complaining about surviving?”


End file.
